Embracing Neurodiversity: How Language Shapes our Tamariki and Mokopuna

Here I sit listening to my mokopuna mimic his father’s words and I ponder about the language we use.  I listened to the RTLB Realities podcast with Sala Tiatia and this also led me to reflect and wonder. 

Recently we held a ZOOM hui where we spoke with three parents who had tamariki that identify as neurodiverse.  These parents shared many insights and gems with us, about language and how they have used it to support their tamariki.  These parents had never met each other but their voices shared a common thread. 

Parents of neurodiverse children often find themselves navigating complex landscapes of education and social interactions. All of the parents provided profound examples of how language can influence our understanding and support of neurodivergent individuals. Their experiences and the terminology they used offered invaluable insights for teachers, Resource Teachers of Learning and Behavior (RTLB), and anyone involved in education.

One parent chose to communicate their child’s autism diagnosis using a computer analogy, which beautifully illustrates the concept of neurodiversity. They compare neurotypical brains to PC operating systems and their son's autistic brain to a Mac operating system, emphasising that neither is better or worse, just different. This analogy not only simplifies the explanation for their child but also frames neurodiversity as a difference rather than a deficiency.

Moreover, all of the parents prefer the term "neurodiverse" over medical terminology like "autism spectrum disorder," which they felt implied something is wrong. They also all avoided the outdated terms Asperger's and functioning labels, opting instead to describe everyone as having unique neurological differences. The Māori concepts of "Takiwātanga," which means "in his own time and place," and "Kanorau a-roro," meaning "many faces of the mind” were consistently used. These perspectives helped them to advocate in a more positive way for their child, highlighting that the brain works differently, not more or less or worse.  They shared that this language seems to promote a more inclusive and accepting view.

Through listening to our whānau voice we heard that they wanted us to stop focusing on altering the behaviour of neurodiverse students, instead educators should aim to create accommodations that allow students to engage with their education effectively. This includes understanding and respecting their unique ways of processing information and participating in class activities.

So how do we do this?  The whānau emphasised that building strong, trusting relationships with neurodiverse students is essential. Small but significant actions, such as explaining changes in the environment and allowing flexibility in participation, can make a big difference. These actions helped our whānau’s tamariki feel comfortable and supported in their educational environments.

In RTLB work, the voice of whānau is crucial. Whānau are the closest to the learner and have valuable insights into their strengths, needs, and history. By actively listening to and including whānau perspectives, RTLB can create more holistic, individualised approaches that foster a stronger partnership between whānau and kura. This collaboration helps bridge gaps and align strategies, ensuring that the support provided is both relevant and meaningful to the child’s overall well-being.  We all need to remember that all whānau go through different emotional journeys with their tamariki and will become strong advocates.  By fostering positive communication between kura and whānau we create inclusive, culturally competent, supportive environments.

Finally all we can say is that we are in awe of these parents, their passion, strength and advocacy, to continually endeavour to make sure that their tamariki have access to the education they are entitled to.  We hope that our mokopuna grow into adults that use language of inclusion, and difference rather than a language of deficit and we know that the only way that this will happen is through the language they hear. We all need to listen carefully to the language we use. We thank them for their insights, and their willingness and bravery to share.